an older man

he told me something wise. he told me life always has tensions and releases. i've been wound up in a ball for a few weeks and i'm looking forward to a release. a full release. i need a shock or explosion to do it. something unexpectedly intense that reminds me of the very second i'm living in, and nothing more.

i love those moments. the most vivid one i can remember happened in Chicago about 7 or 8 years ago. i ran into lake michigan in february. the air temp was 7 and the water temp was 32. i did it on a dare, and i had no idea it would clear my head the way it did. so i think today i'll ponder it a bit, and see what the answer might be. or just hope it happens. and disperses the cloud that has lingered for too long.

tension. release. tension. release.