so it's absolutely amazing to me how intense everything can feel. the last 9 months have been full of so many waves. i keep thinking about choices and what i am choosing. somewhere in my mind is a clear comprehension that every ounce of struggle and challenge i face is perpetuated by the things i bring into my life. work is insanely challenging right now. i love it but am afraid of what i am sacrificing in exchange for the opportunity. many times in life i've chosen to sacrifice the present for the dream of the future. oddly enough, it seldom pays off in the end. i mean, there are certainly good things that have come to me. but i wonder....what am i missing. i hate the idea that perhaps i am choosing complacency. but i would be lying if i were to say the question isn't lingering in my mind. there are a few things i really want in my life.
- quality time with the people i love
- to feel financially secure
- health insurance
- to believe in my work
- to create good projects
- to build relationships that manifest creative opportunity for visionaries (yes, rather lofty)
- to wake up feeling happy and excited
- to be honest with myself
